Encyclopedia Paranoiaca ebook DOC, FB2
9781439199558 English 1439199558 A comprehensive, informative, and utterly debilitating compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible death at any momentall of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday lifefrom master humorists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf. Did you know bananas are radioactive, carrots cause blindness, and too many candlelight dinners can lead to cancer? Bottled water is a veritable petri dish of biohazards, and cherries contain arsenic. Nearly 10,000 people are sent to the emergency room because of escalator accidents and despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores. In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf show us that the things that we consider healthy may actually be harmful and stuff we thought was harmless is anything butdrinking straws, flip flops, skinny jeans, even a day at the beach. Encyclopedia Paranoiacais a comprehensive field guide to things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; the shocking number of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes)., An informative compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible deathat any momentfrom humor writers Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf., Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf offer a painstakingly researched, alarmingly thoroughand conveniently alphabetizedlook at everything threatening to harm, sicken, debilitate, impoverish, disenfranchise, and/or kill you, complete with what you can do (precious little!) to avert disaster. Ignore this book at your peril! " Bestselling humorists: Henry Beard has authored or coauthored ten parodies, five of which are New York Times bestsellers, as well as more than two dozen other humor books, including Latin for All Occasions, French for Cats, and The Official Politically Correct Dictionary (with Christopher Cerf). Christopher Cerf has written and edited several bestselling books including The Experts Speak (with Victor Navasky), and co-edited the journalistic parody Not the New York Times . He is also an Emmy- and Grammy-winning composer for Sesame Street. " Indispensible resource guide: A comprehensive compendium of things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; all sorts of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming, giant meteors, and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes)., IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In "Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, "master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you--all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn't.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy--eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands--are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous-- drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans-- pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, "Encyclopedia Paranoiaca "brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes), IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL! Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill youall of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn't.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthyeating leafy greens, flossing, washing our handsare actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)
9781439199558 English 1439199558 A comprehensive, informative, and utterly debilitating compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible death at any momentall of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday lifefrom master humorists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf. Did you know bananas are radioactive, carrots cause blindness, and too many candlelight dinners can lead to cancer? Bottled water is a veritable petri dish of biohazards, and cherries contain arsenic. Nearly 10,000 people are sent to the emergency room because of escalator accidents and despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores. In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf show us that the things that we consider healthy may actually be harmful and stuff we thought was harmless is anything butdrinking straws, flip flops, skinny jeans, even a day at the beach. Encyclopedia Paranoiacais a comprehensive field guide to things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; the shocking number of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes)., An informative compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible deathat any momentfrom humor writers Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf., Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf offer a painstakingly researched, alarmingly thoroughand conveniently alphabetizedlook at everything threatening to harm, sicken, debilitate, impoverish, disenfranchise, and/or kill you, complete with what you can do (precious little!) to avert disaster. Ignore this book at your peril! " Bestselling humorists: Henry Beard has authored or coauthored ten parodies, five of which are New York Times bestsellers, as well as more than two dozen other humor books, including Latin for All Occasions, French for Cats, and The Official Politically Correct Dictionary (with Christopher Cerf). Christopher Cerf has written and edited several bestselling books including The Experts Speak (with Victor Navasky), and co-edited the journalistic parody Not the New York Times . He is also an Emmy- and Grammy-winning composer for Sesame Street. " Indispensible resource guide: A comprehensive compendium of things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; all sorts of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming, giant meteors, and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes)., IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In "Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, "master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you--all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn't.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy--eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands--are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous-- drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans-- pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, "Encyclopedia Paranoiaca "brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes), IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL! Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill youall of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn't.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthyeating leafy greens, flossing, washing our handsare actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you've heard, farmers' markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)